Page 3 (continued... back to first page)

 

"Eco" really means Eco

If you play Counter Strike competitively you no doubt will be aware of the term "eco". It is usually called by the lead player in the team to inform other team members that this round everyone should avoid buying any items and save their money.

But "eco" really is eco! Ecologically sustainable that is. Your best bet for the environment, and the continuation of the human species, is to avoid buying any weapons at all. A side effect is that you are much more likely to die yourself, but this is not a time to be self centred. There are much bigger things at stake.

If you accidentally purchase a weapon before your leader has said "eco", then the right and moral thing to do is to drop the weapon on the ground. Its no longer a clean environmentally friendly tool, but it is a blood-stained tainted machine whos only purpose is to savage Mother Earth in the most sadistic manner.

So next time your team ecos a round, stand up and feel proud. Hell, yell out "hallelujah!" over the microphone. Your team will surely respond with their own cheers of pride. You will be at ease in the knowledge that even though you have pretty much no chance at survival yourself, your kids will enjoy a full rich life.

 

Night vision

Needless to say, nobody needs night vision in Counter Strike. Yet 2 in 10 players regularly buy night vision goggles, these players usually being 15 year old high school drop-outs who have nothing better to do than try to be funny by wearing night vision goggles in daytime maps, according to a statistical survey by McMarens International.

It is a little known fact that to produce a pair of night vision goggles uses the same amount of energy as producing a V8 automobile. By purchasing these goggles you are putting money into the hands of the most evil thieving coporations who would like nothing better than to brutally and relentlessly rape our planet of its natural resources.

This money could go to far greater causes, such as purchasing carbon offsetting credits to offset the methane emissions released by the numerous dead bodies which you have just killed with your trusty AWP.

For only $US45 you will be provided with an artistically designed carbon credit certificate made from paper coming from the finest subtropical virgin forest timbers. For an extra $US10 you will get a courier driving to your front door to personally deliver it. Now thats service!

 

That concludes the Counter Strike tips for a more environmentally sustainable lifestyle. Think about what you have done to the planet, how you have visciously raped it of its resources without giving a second thought to the native Afghanistan Donkey. If you do only one thing on this list, you have at least begun your long journey towards a happier, healthier planet Earth. Best of luck.

 

The creator of this article has a web page at www.raymonscott.com. Check it out!

 

Previous Page [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]